Giving and receiving writing feedback has proved to be one of the toughest  — but also one of the most useful and rewarding — challenges in my career as a writer and editor.

I’ve worked with colleagues who have readily accepted my editorial feedback and direct edits to their work. I’ve also worked with some colleagues who have, well, had a tougher time accepting or acting upon my feedback on their writing.

Feedback goes both ways, of course. I’ve had the privilege of being the recipient of glowing words of praise, the kind that makes me feel like my writing has had impact, or touched someone personally.

And, like all writers, I’ve also felt the sting of having my carefully crafted language touched up, reworked, or completely struck off the page (and usually without my permission or blessing).

It has happened before, and it still happens today.

Finding someone who can give honest, constructive, actionable — and also caring — feedback on your writing may not be easy, but it is an essential part of the writing process.

On my new podcast, Write With Impact, which I launched this past week on iTunes, I spoke with Laura Brown, writing instructor and author of the recently published book, How to Write Anything: A Complete Guide.

One of the topics we covered in our conversation was how to solicit writing feedback, and what to do about the feedback you receive.

We talked about five aspects of soliciting and acting on writing feedback:

Be systematic

In her book, Laura shares the story of how Jack Canfield, co-creator of the bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul series, and his writing partner Mark Victor Hansen, conduct extensive reader surveys to test story topics before committing them to books. They ask readers to rate stories on a scale of 7 to 10, with a 10 being a great story that “gives the reader goose bumps.” They then average all the scores in an Excel sheet to determine which ones will make the cut.

According to Canfield, they have used the same feedback process for each of the nearly 250 Chicken Soup titles they’ve published (with over 500 million copies in print today).

Canfield’s advice:

The next time you’re writing something that’s very important to you – something that has to have a real impact on your readers – make the effort to get feedback on your writing before you finalize it. If you can get feedback from people who are similar to your intended readers, your message will truly reach and touch its audience.

Find a feedback partner or group

Find a trusted editing partner who is both qualified to offer feedback and independent enough to provide the tougher feedback that can tighten your prose and sharpen your message. This could be of course an editor you work with in your organization. But if you’re working independently, you’ll need to reach out to your circle of friends who not only are willing to provide honest feedback, but are qualified to do so.

Today, there’s an abundance of resources and communities from LinkedIn to Facebook groups that offer free, crowdsourced advice, in addition to numerous editorial services and resources you can pay for.

Keep your cool

Don’t get emotional. Let go of your pride and put your ego into a temporary holding place and ask for honest feedback. On this point, Laura advises:

It’s really important if you’re going to grow as a writer to be able to separate your emotions from your judgment. I think a lot of times if you get feedback that is critical, your emotions might flare up and you might reject it. You need to be able to dial it back, calm down and listen to what they’re hearing, because maybe they’re right.

Take action

This might sound obvious, but I’ve seen many people fail to act on the advice they’ve been given. Or they don’t draw lessons that they can use for future pieces of writing. Look at every piece of writing — no matter how large or small — as an opportunity to learn something that you can apply to your next piece of writing.

Ignore it (sometimes)

Asking for and listening to feedback on your writing are important. But this doesn’t mean you always have to act on the advice you get. (Of course, depending on your circumstances you may have no choice).

If you do have the final say on what gets published, then the prerogative is yours. Selectively accept and act upon the feedback that you think will enhance your work, and disregard the rest.

Laura tells the story of a screenwriting coach she once studied with at drama school in London. She recalls how she stuck with him despite the fact that she felt most of his feedback (90% by her account) was not helpful. The small part of his advice that she found helpful she found really helpful. She stayed in his class just for that 10% of advice that had an impact on her.

How do you seek out feedback on your writing, and what do you usually do with the feedback you get?

Listen to my podcast conversation with Laura, read the show notes, and download a PDF of the complete transcript here.

Image: Ashley Sturgis/Flickr